You may or may not remember when I posted about my husband discovering my “weekly Life Schedule” excel spreadsheet. And how there were only two “shower” cells.

So one of my New Year’s resolutions is, of course, to do more planning and be more clean. I think you’ll be pleased to know that on my new weekly schedule, I include a cell labeled “hygiene” for every single day of the week. Impressive, right? I do have to fit in things like fingernail cutting and baths for the kids during those half hours as well, but I still think it will add up to a better-smelling me.

I even decided on some quarterly goals for 2015 that go beyond basic hygiene. Here they are:

Resolution #1: Finish organizing my life. In 2011, I purchased a book called How to Organize Your Life in 1 Year. So it’s about to be 2015, and I only have two of the 12 sections left to go through. Pretty great progress, right? (Ok, so it would have been great progress If the book was called How to Organize Your Life in 3.5 Years, but that’s just details.) My goal is to do this in the first quarter.

Resolution #2: Get my yard under control (in the second quarter, since I clearly can’t dig up my jungle garden when it’s 20 degrees outside.) Our yard is usually a cross between rain forest (judging by the number of snakes) and swamp (when it rains and our gutters are clogged, which they usually are). I don’t really mind this, but I feel like it’s not particularly considerate of the neighbors. So come spring time, I’m going to drink a pot of coffee and go wild, then put a nice maintenance plan on my calendar (which may or may not be implemented). And by the way, I’ve never used a lawnmower in my life, so I might ask my husband to teach me. Or I might just let him keep cutting the grass. It will all depend on how big the pot of coffee is.

Resolution #3: In the third quarter, I will Get in shape. I will magically squeeze 30 minutes of exercise into my day. Probably in place of the “hygiene” cell. Just kidding. I’ll probably just keep using the stairs instead of the elevator at work and call it a workout. But if I also do sit-ups during the commercials when I’m watching The Bachelor, I’m sure that soon the “stubborn belly fat” that the internet keeps advertising to me about will melt away. And then the stretch marks and the weird post-baby shape of my belly button will dissolve and look like they did pre-babies. And then I’ll sprout wings and a magic wand to transport me to the beach. It’s gonna be great!!

Resolution #4: Pick a goal for the fourth quarter. A lot can happen in a year, so we’ll see how we feel about this one mid-year. But whatever the goal ends up being, I’ll be sure to include it in my blog, because I know how much you all care about the mundane details of my life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVERYBODY!