Mercy in the Madness

I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M OVER THE HILL, Y’ALL! As you can see, my jokes get cornier/more terrible with age. In a strange new development that is equal parts heart warming and alarming, I’m turning into my father.

Did anybody else feel this way, turning 40? I still feel young, and I have to remind myself that I’m not. No, that high school student does not think you’re funny, let alone cool. No, that outfit is not going to work for you, matron. No, that person you hired fresh out of college does not think of you as close to their age. They could be your child!

It’s weird.

I also get the sense that if there is something I want to do in life, I better get a move on and start now. I do understand that this is common – it’s why people have midlife crises and combovers and try to party like they did when they were 21. I’m not in that space, lucky for everyone who surrounds me. But I do feel a certain pressure to make some type of positive impact on my small portion of the world. I know I’m not headed for the nursing home quite yet, but I can’t help but ask myself what I want to leave behind when I go.

Obviously, our children are our most important legacy. Roger that. I’m doing my best, and I think probably the most important thing I’m doing there is investing a good three hours every dang night for “bedtime routine,” which is really more like “mom routinely tells the children to settle down over and over ad infinitum.” All kinds of interesting things get discussed during the “five minutes” (which in actual fact is 30 minutes minimum) of individual, pre-bedtime attention for each kid. What I’m trying to say is, I feel like I’m doing OK investing time in my children.

But I digress. Aside from the kiddos, and my current career, what else do I want to do? What do you want to do? I’ve seen my peers answer that question in a huge variety of ways, and I’m just trying to figure out the Emily variety.

As you may know if you’ve read this blog in the past, I like to write (hence the blog), and I think some of my writing may be worth reading, at least by a few people. So this year, I’m making another honest effort to write regularly. So you will see twice monthly posts here on Mercy in the Madness.

You can also find my newer “travel” blog at bigfamilytrips.com/blog. It’s where I post photos and write for fun (not particularly well) about the places we’ve visited, mostly in the mid-Atlantic region. I’m loving Instagram for this @bigfamilytrips, because it’s mostly photos and positive vibes from all. It has been really fun developing that over the last year, and I plan to continue posting there, as well as here.

So that’s it. The musings of an over-the-hill lass of 40 just contemplating her next steps on her long-silent blog.

And here I am, celebrating the big 4-0 with my EVEN OLDER husband!